Tech Wankers. Technology news, opinions, commentary and humor.

1) “dumb ass” idiots – born of genetic defects in human genome
2) “retarded” idiots – regular people who have no usage of their brain (look up “MBA”)
3) “deperate” idiots – people from Topeka Google, Kansas.
In order to be “selected” as the testbed for Google’s evil plan of world domination through high speed home fiber optics…

That was my mom, but no longer, because
1) Pac-Man is no longer the state of the art, high tech game of the year
2) You dirty internet pervert geeks would Google “wanksta’s mom naked” and I personally don’t like that
So my next guess is, Jessica Chobot. This bitch is hot; apparently she’s good at FPS games.
After…

First, Shitster Friendster folks patents “social networking“.
Second, Facebook folks patent “news feed“.
Hmm. Is it possible to patent “talking”? Perhaps, “writing”. Or “journaling”. Maybe “chatting”. Or god forbid… “breathing”.
Why not patent anything?
In fact, we did.
Techwankers patented the very thing that impacts every aspect of ALL our digital lives: “porn“.
Here is the diagram submitted to the USPTO…

As regular readers know, here at Techwankers we write how we feel. And add a touch of our crazy humor (yeah – its humor).  We’ve written many post criticizing and making fun of the tech industry. Most notably Techcrunch and Google. Today we did a post on the YouTube rickroll issue (which hinted on the…

Earlier today, the infamous Rickroll[ed] video was removed from YouTube. BUT a few hours later, YouTube decided to put it back with the comments “…Occasionally, an account flagged by users or identified by our spam team is mistakenly taken down.”
Huh? But that video have been around for years. We suspect its another ‘clean…

Techcrunch posted an interesting post today on a leaked My Space app review doc by a UI design ‘expert’.
The doc is located on scribd. It’s titled ‘Apps Expert Review’. Expert???
First, the docs looked like it was scribbled over by a 3 year old with color crayons.

The ‘expert’ advice : ‘the button must follow style guides’,…

Google is known to be evil. Not just evil like fat greedy kid, but evil like Satan. I wouldn’t be surprised if its evilness somehow managed to kill Tesla execs because their search algorithm thought they were web spam.
So Google CEO supposedly “misplaced”  the blog of CEO Schmidt’s mistress Kate Bohner. (Yes… “BOH-ner”. I won’t…

Sometimes I think humans are pretty stupid and we are probably no smarter then our dogs. Here is an example.
This is got to be the stupidest idea we’ve come across. (And we’ve seen some crazy ones)
This is a butt hole cover for your dog!!! WTF? So apparently there is a problem with ugly dog butt…