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Internet = New Old Boy’s Network
You think internet is run by young hot shot nerds and geeks? Guess again. This is a pic taken...
Freedom from Porn? Nah. Porn Slavery is Just Fine.
Steve Jobs is a funny man. He wants the society to have freedom from porn. Why, Mr. Jobs? why...
Tesla Execs’ Death – Conspiracy Theory
By WankstaLet’s face it. There’s no WAY in hell not one, not two, BUT THREE Tesla execs died at once in a single accident. The chances of that happening is equivalent to Joe getting laid with a REAL person.
Here are possible “enemies” of Tesla Motors, an electric vehicle company, that might want to see such tragedy
1)…
Breaking: Tesla Execs In Plane Crash
By JoeThis is off topic for Techwankers – but its too close to home. (And those wankers at Techcrunch is too busy to report it).
From Venturebeat:
A small passenger plane piloted by a top executive at Tesla Motors crashed into a house in East Palo Alto, Calif. before 8 a.m. this morning, killing the pilot and two…
Sexy tech women boobs
By Wanksta How come women in tech don’t EVER get on Playboy? To selflessly pitch some of these hot women to PlayBoy/FHM/Maxim, here are some tech geek boobie actions. Mr.Heffner, take notice. (Oh, and if you ARE Hugh Heffner, please don’t read this one particular article.) Quagmire approves this message.
Breaking: ex MySpace CEO Van Natta Joins Tech Wankers
By JoeWhen MySpace CEO Van Natta was recently fired stepped-down, rumours were flying as to where he would end up next. Well, we are happy to announce that he has accepted the post of ‘intern’ writer for Tech Wankers.
‘I am really happy and humbled to be given such a great opportunity by the folks at Tech…
Exclusive: Porn Products From MacWorld
By JoeIts a recession. So the big guys are hunkering down. This leaves room for the small guys to innovate a bunch of crap. But at techwankers, we are a creative bunch – we believe these products will work – IF they were marketed to the porn crowd.
Yeah – 3D viewer for the iphone (we first…
Exclusive: Coverage From MacWorld Expo
By JoeThe techwankers stumbled to the macworld expo today. We were right behind Guy Kawasaki (techwankers roll together). For the ladies (all 1.5 of you that reads this blog – the .5 is the geek that can’t make up his mind) – he was in an all black ensemble. With a black ‘mac’ for rain protection.
Immediate…
Googleopoly – Ultimate Google Evil
By Wanksta“Google” in other languages:
spanish – Satán
french – Satan
italian – Satana
german – Satan
danish – Satan
estonian – Saatan
So…. you gotta wonder, “is google evil?” 6 languages can’t be wrong at the SAME time.
The demon himself Google is getting into high speed broadband service as well as DNS.
You may not care b/c
1) you’re technically astute and understands what…
TED : The Elite Dweebs
By JoeSo the TED conference is here again. This is probably one of the most pretentious ‘idea’ conferences. Its a bunch of rich boys getting together to have fun under the guise of a ‘thinking’ conference. Lets look at the facts:
- ticket price: $6K+. This is priced to filter out all the riffraffs (that’s poor/common people).
-…
Top 10 Silicon Valley Bullshit Pitched To Geeks
By Wanksta
… and what they REALLY mean
1) I’m looking for a technical co-founder
I have no real skills or money. I hope you do.
2) We are pre-funded startup. No salary yet but you’ll get founder equity stake.
Here’s some toilet paper.
3) You take care of tech. I’ll take care of PR and marketing.
I’ll beg TechCrunch for a back…
Geo-targeted ads on iPhone banned. So what did the Apple’s five fingers of say to the developers’ faces?
By Wanksta What the f*ck did you expect? Free lunch? Obviously, youe people didn’t learn from them Facebook developers. You know why these companies piss on the little developers? We at TechWankers went DEEP cover to find out why this is soPopular Today
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Comments
Jacquelynn Malachowski on Silicon Valley Geeks: Do NOT dress like this if you ever wanna get laid
Sick and tired of getting low amounts of useless visitors to your website? Well i wish to tell you a...Elma on Breaking: Gina Bianchini Fired
hi...Dick Long on Breaking: Gina Bianchini Fired
I'd hit it. With a 2x4....ElleSpencer on Steve's Next Conquest After iPhone and iPad: iBoard and iMat
This is hilarious!...Roy on Content vs. distribution: silicon valley assholes will always be assholes
hahahhaha.....fucking great article, right on point......











