Tech Wankers. Technology news, opinions, commentary and humor.

They’re the most evil company known to date. Not because they make a lot of money, but because they control information just like the Nazis did. They even went as far as violating their own terms of service. They say paying for blog posts are bad and prohibited. Guess what? Google paid for blob entries…

Steve Jobs: Yo Wanksta.
Wanksta: Zup homez.
Steve Jobs: So i gots me this new computer. It’s gonna be basically a flat PC. I’m gonna market it as some revolutionary new thing. It’s the same ol’ shit. But you know these “bourgeoisie” Apple fans idiots will buy anything I make.
Wanksta: Fo sho.
Steve Jobs: Anyway, can’t think of…

Finally a smart question.
I found the source code:
 
switch(meat){
case cow:
taste = beef;
end
case pig:
…

This is a standard bar question that comes up between two geeks when a relatively OK to hot girl walks by.Why? Who the hell knows. We’re genetically predisposed to asking this question when consuming a delicious alcoholic beverage.
Joe and I are no different. We like porn and blue alien women that can please us…

 
I like to

get drunk and urinate in public. Peeing on people’s faces is what i do.
scratch my balls and smell the fingers afterwards (gotta make sure Valtrex is working)
squeeze out my armpit blackhead and flick it at little kids
invite a blind person to my kitchen and leave all the cabinet doors open

 
One thing I do…

Wanksta is smart. Not a genius. Just smarter than you. That makes him Smart.
So smart that he got a job interview at Google. I didn’t ask for it. A friend of mine referred me to the recruiter. Ok I lie, I don’t have friends.
I passed all the technical crap. Then comes this stupid ass cock-sucker…

If these sex bots (like this and that) are gonna emulate the experience of sex with a real woman, these are a must for men:
1) mute button – Men don’t liking after sex. Especially to damn robots.

2) removable cum tray – For easy cleaning before you share it with your buddy.

3) built-in microwave – in…

Dear Wanksta.
Ever walk into a corporate tech office and notice the plethora of geek white/asian/indian men sitting in their little cubicles crunching away code? And the only females you see are receptionists, sales/marketing people and project managers. Sometimes you see them in finance/legal/what-da-hell-do-i-do-you-ask?-not-sure-but-i-have-an-MBA departments as well, but on the OTHER side of the freakin’ building.
I…