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Steve’s Next Conquest After iPhone and iPad: iBoard an

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You’re a geek. Would you do her?

This is a standard bar question that comes up between two geeks when a relatively OK to hot girl...

Dear wanksta – How evil is Google?

They’re the most evil company known to date. Not because they make a lot of money, but...

Exclusive: Porn Products From MacWorld

By Joe

Its a recession. So the big guys are hunkering down. This leaves room for the small guys to innovate a bunch of crap. But at techwankers, we are a creative bunch – we believe these products will work – IF they were marketed to the porn crowd.

Yeah – 3D viewer for the iphone (we first…

[ More ] February 12th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in Silicon Valley

Exclusive: Coverage From MacWorld Expo

By Joe

The techwankers stumbled to the macworld expo today. We were right behind Guy Kawasaki (techwankers roll together). For the ladies (all 1.5 of you that reads this blog – the .5 is the geek that can’t make up his mind) – he was in an all black ensemble. With a black ‘mac’ for rain protection.
Immediate…

[ More ] February 12th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in Silicon Valley

TED : The Elite Dweebs

By Joe

So the TED conference is here again. This is probably one of the most pretentious ‘idea’ conferences. Its a bunch of rich boys getting together to have fun under the guise of a ‘thinking’ conference. Lets look at the facts:
- ticket price: $6K+. This is priced to filter out all the riffraffs (that’s poor/common people).
-…

[ More ] February 9th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in Commentary, Silicon Valley

To Techcrunch : We Take Bribes

By Joe

Today Techcrunch made a public apology to its readers regarding a writer taking bribes (mac book for a post on techcrunch)
So I thought its time we lay out our policy to all our writers here at techwankers.
We TAKE bribes. We WELCOME bribes. There is nothing too small we wouldn’t take. In fact, we may be…

[ More ] February 5th, 2010 | 2 Comments | Posted in Silicon Valley

Geeks -The Robots Are Coming To Take Your Jobs

By Joe

To all the geeks out there – can you do the Rubics cube? Didn’t think so. (Nerds – I know you can).
Now they have a lego robot that can solve the cube. Next up – is a lego robot for Facebook connect. Then it will write games. So you geeks better start finding another skill…

[ More ] February 5th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in Silicon Valley

How Much Is A Genius Worth?

By Joe One of life’s question – what is intelligence worth? Well according to Apple, the Apple Mac Genius pay is $18/hour average. So using that as a benchmark: Software Eng (appox $80K) – over 2x Genius Starbucks Barista ($9/hour) – half a Genius MacDonald’s Cashier ($8/hour) – less then half a Genius Facebook app developers (average $-ve/hour) – STUPID

[ More ] February 2nd, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in Commentary, Silicon Valley

Hitler Hates iPad

By Joe The news is out. Hitler hates the iPad – don’t blame him (unless he is a PC user). A device with no multi-tasking? WTF!

[ More ] January 28th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in Silicon Valley, WTF

iPad Sniggers

By Joe iSlate, iTablet….iPad? Apple is just asking for trouble. Watch out for all the ‘pad’ jokes. UPDATE: our prediction was right. “The Crunchpad (opps – I mean JooJoo) will fail” . Welcome iPad, bye bye JooJoo.

[ More ] January 27th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in Silicon Valley

I Am A Copy Cat

By Joe

So it all started with the Apple Ad. “I am a Mac”.
Then Microsoft got in the act with “I am a PC”. Microsoft have always been a follower – so it was not a surprise when they ‘followed’ the Apple ads.
Now, things are getting really bad. IBM – the big mammoth of business are at…

[ More ] January 25th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in Commentary, I Can't Believe...

How To Survive In Silicon Valley

By Joe

For those tech geeks that are not currently in Silicon Valley (SV) – coming to work or live in SV is the ultimate dream. Its the mecca of all tech geeks. So fear not, here are some tips from the tech wankers.
10) Learn to survive on ramen and pot noodles. No geeks will be seen…

[ More ] January 20th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in Commentary, Silicon Valley