Top 10 Silicon Valley Bullshit Pitched To Geeks

… and what they REALLY mean

1) I’m looking for a technical co-founder

I have no real skills or money. I hope you do.

2) We are pre-funded startup. No salary yet but you’ll get founder equity stake.

Here’s some toilet paper.

3) You take care of tech. I’ll take care of PR and marketing.

I’ll beg TechCrunch for a back link. If not, I can always spam Craigslist.

4) We have taken no VC money yet. We have lots of interest.

I hope VC’s are stupid.

5) We are in stealth mode

I registered some-weird-4-letter-initial-name-i-can’t-pronounce.com on godaddy with a coupon.

6) Please send your background.

I need you more than you need me. But I paid $75 for this craigslist posting, so I am important.

7) I am an expert on virality, and I know how to measure and build it.

If we get no traffic on our site, you’ll make us a totally useless FaceBook app and pray for traffic/users.

8 ) We are self financed

When my 401k runs out, I can always sell my blood. Or semen.

9) We are gonna change the world.

One out of 20 male geeks between the ages of 22-28 within the 3 mile radius of Googleplex whose last  name starts with letter Q and Z will be our fans.

10) This is the NEXT big thing.

You see this chart drawn on my old underwear? Arrow’s going from bottom left to top right.

If someone approaches you and asks you if want to be the technical cofounder, do what’s RIGHT:

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