Tech Wankers. Technology news, opinions, commentary and humor.

Sexy tech women boobs

How come women in tech don’t EVER get on Playboy? To selflessly pitch some of these hot...

Breaking: Tesla Execs In Plane Crash

This is off topic for Techwankers – but its too close to home. (And those wankers at...

How to be evil, Google style

Google is known to be evil. Not just evil like fat greedy kid, but evil like Satan. I...

Breaking: Gina Bianchini Fired

By Joe

So techcrunch just reported that Ning’s Gina Bianchini have been ‘relieved’ as Ning’s CEO.

We want to reach out to Gina – there is always an opening here at techwankers. Brains and T+A – we welcome it. Although we never knew what you  contributed over at Ning, we don’t care. I am sure we can find [...]

[ More ] March 15th, 2010 | 1 Comment | Posted in Commentary, Silicon Valley

ITT For Higher Engineering Education? PWND!

By Wanksta

When the economy is bad and jobs are scarce, what do people do?
Do what everyone else does. Go back to school. Makes perfect sense – go back while you got the time to invest in yourself… so you can come back out when the economy recovers when the job market is back to normal and [...]

[ More ] March 13th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in Commentary

Facebook Friend Whores

By Joe

If you are reading this blog – then it is very likely you are on facebook (they are slowly becoming the new evil empire).

One thing I absolutely HATE are people whom I briefly met or never met trying to friend me. These are the sad people of society. Their main objective to grow a large [...]

[ More ] March 12th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in Commentary

Get A Clue Recruiters

By Joe

For developers, we are constantly being hassled by head hunters and recruiters. The demand for a good developer is very high – and the supply is low (excluding the mediocre developers out there – you know who you are).  Good developers all have a common trait – they are smart! So to attract them, you [...]

[ More ] March 12th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in Commentary, Silicon Valley

How to Kill the Golden Goose (Uncle Sam, this post is for you)

By Wanksta

Thanks to brilliant, financially savvy Colorado politicians, Amazon had to let go 4,200 of it affiliates:
DENVER — Amazon.com Inc. cut ties Monday with Colorado online businesses that help it sell products because of a new state law aimed at getting out-of-state, online retailers to collect sales tax.
The move hurts businesses — many of them small, [...]

[ More ] March 8th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in Commentary

How Google Brainwashes its Employees

By Wanksta

Take something so innocent like Legos and turn it into an evil corporation’s logo:
 

 
Low and behold… THE leader:
 

 
Notice any resemblance?
 

Sphere: Related Content

[ More ] March 4th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in Commentary

Where do idiots come from?

By Wanksta

1) “dumb ass” idiots – born of genetic defects in human genome
2) “retarded” idiots – regular people who have no usage of their brain (look up “MBA”)
3) “deperate” idiots – people from Topeka Google, Kansas.
In order to be “selected” as the testbed for Google’s evil plan of world domination through high speed home fiber optics [...]

[ More ] March 1st, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in WTF

Dear Wanksta – Who’s the hottest gamer girl of all time?

By Wanksta

That was my mom, but no longer, because
1) Pac-Man is no longer the state of the art, high tech game of the year
2) You dirty internet pervert geeks would Google “wanksta’s mom naked” and I personally don’t like that
So my next guess is, Jessica Chobot. This bitch is hot; apparently she’s good at FPS games.
After [...]

[ More ] February 27th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in Dear Wanksta

Apple’s Adult Entertainment Products

By Wanksta

To fully appreciate the Apple’s i-Pleasure experience, you must buy the iBrator

after which you will experience iGasm

and don’t forget.. you will need to clean yourself up with iTissue

Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)

Related posts on apple
Apple iPad Secrets: What Apple is Hiding
30 most awesome Apple inspired concept designs | Richworks™

Related posts on geeks
Billboard Win! « Geeks [...]

[ More ] February 27th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in Silicon Valley

Breaking News: TechWankers Patent Porn

By Wanksta

First, Shitster Friendster folks patents “social networking“.
Second, Facebook folks patent “news feed“.
Hmm. Is it possible to patent “talking”? Perhaps, “writing”. Or “journaling”. Maybe “chatting”. Or god forbid… “breathing”.
Why not patent anything?
In fact, we did.
Techwankers patented the very thing that impacts every aspect of ALL our digital lives: “porn“.
Here is the diagram submitted to the USPTO [...]

[ More ] February 25th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in Silicon Valley, Social Network And Media

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